Teaching Spiritual Values to Children Through Mantras

I just wanted to put some ideas out there that have helped us form our children in the spiritual direction we want them to go.  They are 6 and 3 right now, and while I have no control on how they ultimately end up, I’m going to try my best to influence and point them to Jesus.  There are some of these practices that I’m good at and some I’m not good at in terms of consistency.

The first parenting practice I wanted to share is a nightly mantra I do with my kids at night.  It’s fairly simple and straight forward.  I do this because I want them to speak well of themselves, something I personally struggle a lot with.  I want them to know these truths deep in their bones, that’s why we say them nightly.

So, here it is:

Me: “You are kind”  kid: “I am kind”

Me: “You are special”  kid:  “I am special”

Me:  “You are brave”  kid:  “I am brave”

Me:  “You are strong”  kid:  “I am strong”

Me:  “You are handsome/beautiful (depending on which kid)”  kid:  “I am handsome/beautiful”

Me: “You are smart”  kid:  “I am smart”

Me:  “You are loved”  kid:  “I am loved”

Me:  “When you do good things.”  kid: “When I do good things”

Me:  “And when you do bad things”  kid: “And when I do bad things”

Me:  “Daddy loves you”  kid: “Daddy loves me”

Me: “Great big as the world”  kid:  “Great big as the world”

Me: “Mama loves you”  kid:  “Mama loves me”

Me: “Great big as the world” kid: “Great big as the world”

Me: “God loves you”  kid: “God loves me”

Me:  “Great big as the universe”  kid:  “Great big as the universe”

These are truths I want them to wrap their heads around.  My son unfortunately already has a hard time with beating himself up like I do.  Obviously I don’t do that in front of him but nevertheless he struggles with it like I do.  And so, the only thing I know to do for him is to pray for him and to teach him this mantra.

I always follow up the mantra with a prayer.  It’s usually a simple prayer that they repeat after me.  I usually have them pray for something themselves as part of it, but sometimes they’re too tired to think of anything.  I struggle with the same thing in my own walk with God.

I pray this serves them well as they get older.  When self-doubt creeps in like it does for everyone, I hope they can fall back on these truths I’m teaching them now.

“Daddy, why did God make me?”

The last few weeks have been rough weather wise which translates to a rough time mental wise for myself and many others.  2 weeks of too cold to get outside with my kids left all of us with a bad case of cabin fever.  Followed by a week full of nonstop rain for 3 days straight and we’re all about to lose it.  Yesterday, however, was a very good day.  It was still gray and dreary out but it at least wasn’t raining.

Infinitely more importantly was the question my son posed to me on the way to replace a frisbee we had thrown into the drainage pipe so perfectly that it’s exactly halfway from either side and therefore unreachable even with a long pole.  As we’re driving to the dollar store, he catches me off guard by asking me, out of nowhere, “Daddy, why did God make me?”

Nearly all the time I wonder if what we’re teaching out kids at home is making any impact whatsoever.  I’ve started implementing a nightly prayer with my two kiddos as well as a mantra but most days I feel more like I’m throwing pasta at the wall and hoping something spiritual sticks.  I try and read them a kid’s Bible once or twice a week and we take them to church almost every week they’re open and we’re home.  Still, I wonder.  I try and be very intentional about my kid’s spiritual formation by doing that as well as praying with my wife nightly for help with our parenting as God parents us.

And then, there’s reality that hits hard every day.  My 5 year old son whines way more than my 3 year old daughter.  Then I whine to others about him whining and wonder where he gets it  😉  It can grate on our nerves so much I feel like I’m going to come unglued some days.  

Yet somehow, God continues to show me mercy and meet me in my impatience with my kids to mature.  My son asks me why God made him and I’m floored at my 5 year old asking a millennia old question.  Whoa, this is the type of question people get philosophy degrees trying to figure out.  A secular version is, “Why am I here?” but the premise is the same.  We all want to have a purpose in our lives.  Something we can point to at any given time and say, “That’s why I’m here.  That’s why this life is meaningful.”

My response was simple enough that a 5 year old could understand it but I think it might apply to anyone looking to answer this question.  “God made you so you could serve Him and serve others,”  I started out as saying.  I went on to explain that serving others means helping others, like how he helps his little sister.  I shared how I believe God made him for a life of helping others somehow, and that it was going to be a joy to get to see how God reveals that to him over time.  I talked about how we’re built to love God and love others.

In less than a minute, I went from feeling beyond frustrated by some whining to being humbled by God’s mercy to raise children and try to point them to Him.  God saw fit to put Stef and me in charge of the upbringing of two precious souls.  Very rarely do we feel we ‘meet the mark’ in terms of being the parents they deserve, but if God called us to it then He will help us as we try and point them to Him.  

When our 5 year old son was born in Spain, one of our church pastors said God was simply allowing us to borrow our son for such a short time in the grand scheme of eternity.  That’s always stuck with me.  When the days are long I remember Pablo saying God simply lends His kids to us for us to watch over and care for them for such a short time and it often helps me get through another day.

And when my son floors me by some deep question, I praise God for the privilege of trying to raise two beautiful children in the way of Jesus.

Dadvice #4 – Use cloth diapers.

It will save you a fortune over time. It’s a big upfront cost, and I recommend registering for it beforehand to try and get some for free from generous friends and family.

We specifically use cloth during the day and disposables during the night since we don’t want to wake him up to change him in the middle of the night and disposables are more absorbent.

So, we’d save even more if we changed him at night but that’s a cost we’re just willing to swallow.

Dadvice #3 – Cherish 80%

People will encourage you to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast.  Aim for 80%.  Some days aim for 8% and if you achieve it that’s a win.  This may sound negative but I’ve yet to meet the person that is ‘on’ 100% of the time in any area of life.  If you enjoy 80% of the time with your baby that’s a win and should be celebrated.

Dadvice #1 – Don’t take advice from other parents, including me.

Someone I met before we had our son told me this and it was the best advice I’ve received yet.  Everyone and their dog will apparently know your baby better than you do, but only if you let them.  Choose your advisers carefully and forget about all the rest.  Some books are helpful, others aren’t.  Make sure you’re on the same page as your spouse.  You won’t always agree, but learn to compromise as you do in the rest of your marriage.

Try not to take things personally as they’re usually from well meaning people who think they’re experts, even if they either have never had a kid themselves or had a kid up to a whopping year prior to you.  I’m guilty of this myself with other parents.  Apologies to all I’ve given advice to over the years.  Apologies to you who continue to read this blog after this first entry as well  🙂